I must say farewell my friends.
Although I thought that we would traverse many humorous roads, at this particular moment it looks like I am off the dating market and exclusively dating one person. Which means that all you are going to hear about is rainbows and butterflies, and that isn't very interesting.
I want to thank everyone who has been reading and following alone this zany trail- it's meant a lot to me.
It looks like the magic is there with William. I am currently devoted, so devoted that I finally realized that I couldn't compromise our relationship by posting private information to the world.
On a final note, I want to encourage everyone to explore that great big world of people out there. You never know who you will meet, what experiences you will have, and what will ultimately shape you. I've learned so much in the past few years in the DC market. William caught me entirely by surprise and yes, I am experiencing every cliche in the book right now. So with a heavy heart I bid farewell, and who knows, I may be back soon. That's the way love goes.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Balls
My friends I ask you:
What happened to men with balls? Do we have to look for them in museums? Where can we find them-Mars? Even my current mania, William, told me that he would have "never asked me out at a bar." Why is that? Why can't a man who is attracted to a woman simply walk up to her and say "Hi?" If I can do that, a man can do that.
Today I encountered one of these strange beings - a man with balls. I was walking back to work (looking hungover as hell) when one of the security guards stopped me and remarked that he "saw me come into work every day, and just had to tell me that I had a beautiful smile and was one of the prettiest women at this workplace." I was stunned - this had happened before (See "Can I Be on Your Blog"?) but this just blew me away. He gave me his card and said, for a rainy day, and if you ever stop seeing that guy. Bam. Done and done. Okay, so I might never call him, but I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. See guys? Just say hi. It really works. "Hi." You never know what could happen.
What happened to men with balls? Do we have to look for them in museums? Where can we find them-Mars? Even my current mania, William, told me that he would have "never asked me out at a bar." Why is that? Why can't a man who is attracted to a woman simply walk up to her and say "Hi?" If I can do that, a man can do that.
Today I encountered one of these strange beings - a man with balls. I was walking back to work (looking hungover as hell) when one of the security guards stopped me and remarked that he "saw me come into work every day, and just had to tell me that I had a beautiful smile and was one of the prettiest women at this workplace." I was stunned - this had happened before (See "Can I Be on Your Blog"?) but this just blew me away. He gave me his card and said, for a rainy day, and if you ever stop seeing that guy. Bam. Done and done. Okay, so I might never call him, but I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. See guys? Just say hi. It really works. "Hi." You never know what could happen.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Dating, brought to you by Myers-Briggs
Anyone who knows me knows that I swear by Myers-Briggs. In the off chance that you never got your isht together, you can take the test here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp. I recommend taking it three times to see what you repeatedly get (it is normal to get different types each time, but you will see a pattern of your functions emerge.) This site also has wonderful compatibility information. For those of you who haven't gotten a fake nerd degree in psychology, MB uses the major personality functions: Extroverted/Introverted, Intuitive/Sensing, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. The combination of these separate types result in 16 MB types. This is not astrology or kabbalah or whatzitnot. This is what I like to call persuasive soft science.
I can hear the skeptics now. Dating by personality? My complex, inexplicable, undefinable, and truly unique persona narrowed down to four letters? 1. Get over yourself. 2. Stick around. Myers Briggs is actually a very useful, practical, and powerful tool in understanding yourself and the people around you. Knowing how people absorb the world, process information, register feelings, and express themselves can empower you in your decision-making abilities. For example, my last relationship was with an INTP. When we broke up and I finally gained clarity about that situation, I remembered that many of my frustrations and disappointments with that relationship stemmed from the way an INTP (The Thinker) and an ENFP (The Inspirer) (my MB personality) interacted. For example, an ENFP expects that his or her partner will know instinctively how to act and express themselves when it comes to his or her feelings; an INTP, on the other hand, has difficulty being naturally tuned into others' external emotional desires because of his or her focus on the inner workings of the relationship.
To bring it back realtime, I am now currently dating an ISTJ (William)- the very last personality type I ever thought I would be having a good time with. The ISTJ is the "Duty-Fulfiller"- a person who finds happiness by figuring out what needs to be done for others. This type also respects rules and traditions. Translation: boring!!! Was this really what I needed after my less then starry INTP relationship? Surely I should be going for the more daredevil and stylish ESTP, or the sensual and artistic ESFP. And then strangely, around the fifth date with William, I learned a very important lesson: although we are constantly listing our own baller qualities as those we would like to have in our partners, it is the qualities that we lack that can often intrigue us. His steadfastness and focus to understand me, coupled with a traditional, romantic dating style, and a love to work with his hands, is foreign to me, and thus- exciting. Booya.
On a final note, it is important to remember that any two MB personalities are compatible as long as they are fully developed in most of their functions (we use all eight of the functions, just four in a more dominant way). The problem lies when your partner's less developed functions conflict with your less developed functions (such as one partner who has difficulty expressing emotion and another partner who struggles with intuiting the other's feelings). The good news is that dating or being in a relationship with people of diverse personality types builds and strengthens the functions that you do not have- which end up making you a more suitable candidate for someone who has matured in their personality.
So can an ISTJ and ENFP have a good first kiss (it's the real issue, right?) Judging from the last date, it looks like anything's possible.
I can hear the skeptics now. Dating by personality? My complex, inexplicable, undefinable, and truly unique persona narrowed down to four letters? 1. Get over yourself. 2. Stick around. Myers Briggs is actually a very useful, practical, and powerful tool in understanding yourself and the people around you. Knowing how people absorb the world, process information, register feelings, and express themselves can empower you in your decision-making abilities. For example, my last relationship was with an INTP. When we broke up and I finally gained clarity about that situation, I remembered that many of my frustrations and disappointments with that relationship stemmed from the way an INTP (The Thinker) and an ENFP (The Inspirer) (my MB personality) interacted. For example, an ENFP expects that his or her partner will know instinctively how to act and express themselves when it comes to his or her feelings; an INTP, on the other hand, has difficulty being naturally tuned into others' external emotional desires because of his or her focus on the inner workings of the relationship.
To bring it back realtime, I am now currently dating an ISTJ (William)- the very last personality type I ever thought I would be having a good time with. The ISTJ is the "Duty-Fulfiller"- a person who finds happiness by figuring out what needs to be done for others. This type also respects rules and traditions. Translation: boring!!! Was this really what I needed after my less then starry INTP relationship? Surely I should be going for the more daredevil and stylish ESTP, or the sensual and artistic ESFP. And then strangely, around the fifth date with William, I learned a very important lesson: although we are constantly listing our own baller qualities as those we would like to have in our partners, it is the qualities that we lack that can often intrigue us. His steadfastness and focus to understand me, coupled with a traditional, romantic dating style, and a love to work with his hands, is foreign to me, and thus- exciting. Booya.
On a final note, it is important to remember that any two MB personalities are compatible as long as they are fully developed in most of their functions (we use all eight of the functions, just four in a more dominant way). The problem lies when your partner's less developed functions conflict with your less developed functions (such as one partner who has difficulty expressing emotion and another partner who struggles with intuiting the other's feelings). The good news is that dating or being in a relationship with people of diverse personality types builds and strengthens the functions that you do not have- which end up making you a more suitable candidate for someone who has matured in their personality.
So can an ISTJ and ENFP have a good first kiss (it's the real issue, right?) Judging from the last date, it looks like anything's possible.
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