Anyone who knows me knows that I swear by Myers-Briggs. In the off chance that you never got your isht together, you can take the test here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp. I recommend taking it three times to see what you repeatedly get (it is normal to get different types each time, but you will see a pattern of your functions emerge.) This site also has wonderful compatibility information. For those of you who haven't gotten a fake nerd degree in psychology, MB uses the major personality functions: Extroverted/Introverted, Intuitive/Sensing, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. The combination of these separate types result in 16 MB types. This is not astrology or kabbalah or whatzitnot. This is what I like to call persuasive soft science.
I can hear the skeptics now. Dating by personality? My complex, inexplicable, undefinable, and truly unique persona narrowed down to four letters? 1. Get over yourself. 2. Stick around. Myers Briggs is actually a very useful, practical, and powerful tool in understanding yourself and the people around you. Knowing how people absorb the world, process information, register feelings, and express themselves can empower you in your decision-making abilities. For example, my last relationship was with an INTP. When we broke up and I finally gained clarity about that situation, I remembered that many of my frustrations and disappointments with that relationship stemmed from the way an INTP (The Thinker) and an ENFP (The Inspirer) (my MB personality) interacted. For example, an ENFP expects that his or her partner will know instinctively how to act and express themselves when it comes to his or her feelings; an INTP, on the other hand, has difficulty being naturally tuned into others' external emotional desires because of his or her focus on the inner workings of the relationship.
To bring it back realtime, I am now currently dating an ISTJ (William)- the very last personality type I ever thought I would be having a good time with. The ISTJ is the "Duty-Fulfiller"- a person who finds happiness by figuring out what needs to be done for others. This type also respects rules and traditions. Translation: boring!!! Was this really what I needed after my less then starry INTP relationship? Surely I should be going for the more daredevil and stylish ESTP, or the sensual and artistic ESFP. And then strangely, around the fifth date with William, I learned a very important lesson: although we are constantly listing our own baller qualities as those we would like to have in our partners, it is the qualities that we lack that can often intrigue us. His steadfastness and focus to understand me, coupled with a traditional, romantic dating style, and a love to work with his hands, is foreign to me, and thus- exciting. Booya.
On a final note, it is important to remember that any two MB personalities are compatible as long as they are fully developed in most of their functions (we use all eight of the functions, just four in a more dominant way). The problem lies when your partner's less developed functions conflict with your less developed functions (such as one partner who has difficulty expressing emotion and another partner who struggles with intuiting the other's feelings). The good news is that dating or being in a relationship with people of diverse personality types builds and strengthens the functions that you do not have- which end up making you a more suitable candidate for someone who has matured in their personality.
So can an ISTJ and ENFP have a good first kiss (it's the real issue, right?) Judging from the last date, it looks like anything's possible.
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