Master Flowchart Part II

Continuing on:

4. The four hours before the date loom. If you are a girl, you begin to rummage through your assortment of clothes and eventually determine that "nothing works." This is followed by complaining to your roommate that you need to go shopping immediately. You finally try something on but feel FAT in it- oh no! You can't be feeling fat when you meet the potential man of your dreams! You switch to something with more give (after all, you have to eat and drink, right?), but find that it just isn't as sexy. You change back into the sexier outfit. This cycle repeats until finally you get the opinion of your roommates who assure you that in fact, you do NOT look fat. You are now ready to go to Step 5. 

5. Your hair is perfectly coiffed. However, knowing that the metro will blast it into oblivion, you over-hairspray. Knowing that the stenchy metro will also strip away your perfume, and cause you to slightly sweat by the time of arrival, you attempt to safeguard by over-perfuming and over-deodorizing. Glancing at the clock, you realize that you run this mother like a swiss army watch. 

6. Now, this is a new advent in the pre-date ritual, but highly recommended if you are going on a blind date. Exactly HALF a glass of WHITE wine. Why do I say this? White does not stain your teeth, and half a glass prevents you from revealing every damn detail about yourself. This also loosens you just enough to seem calm, natural, and relaxed. You've got this. You run this mother like a swiss army watch. 

7. Brush your teeth (and then re-apply lipstick). 

8. Pick shoes according to your date's height. If he's 6'4'', strap on those stilettos and grin and bear it. If he's your height, wear flats. 

9. Adjust your Ipod to play only ENCOURAGING songs. Do not listen to "Nothing Compares to You"  by Sinead O'Connor (best version linked). Do not listen to "Bittersweet Symphony". And please, please DO NOT listen to "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance. 

I recommend a positive melody set in a major key that includes somewhat nonsensical lyrics but conveys a general hopefulness about life. Personal favorites include: Maroon Five's "Runaway" off their peppy "Hands All Over" album; the enchanting Ms. Swift's "Sparks Fly" off the triple-platinum Speak Now; and Natasha Bedingfield's "Neon Lights". These songs make you think: yes! True love is just one date away. 

And sometimes, just sometimes, it really can feel that way.